As I have said before Kairos Ministries is very much a family ministry. Here is another Langstaff Letter by my granddaughter Hayley Plaisted.

One, two, three
Up to infinity
I’d run out of numbers
Before I could thank You for everything
God, I’m still counting my blessings
All that You’ve done in my life
The more that I look in the details, the more of Your goodness I find
Father on this side of heaven
I know that I’ll run out of time
But I will keep counting my blessings, knowing I can’t count that high

From Counting My Blessings by Seph Schlueter

Early August 11, 2023, I heard this song for the very first time. A recent discovery of my mother, it had touched her heart, and now it was bursting forth from my own. The message of truth, trust, and defiant confidence in the Lord’s goodness resonated within me. Past, present, future; trial or tragedy; the blessings of the Lord are overwhelming. Something I can say with confidence now, but I did not always feel that way.

SEEING TRUST

From a very young age, my parents were intentional about cultivating thankfulness in me and my brothers. “We thank God for all good, and we trust Him with the rest,” was the quote that defined my Dad’s attitude toward thankfulness. My mother was insanely half-glass full. Being naturally inclined to pessimism, this undaunted positivity really got on my nerves. What was the big deal about looking for the bright side anyway? The negative things were just as true as the positives, right? Positivity was just another way of ignoring reality? I was just being REALISTIC.

To this day, I clearly remember my mother’s intentional positivity filling our home. Specifically, following the death of my father in 2011, what had once been just a sunny disposition became a will-driven double-edged sword against despair and loneliness. At that time, I did not appreciate what my mother accomplished through those years, raising four children through the hills and valleys of grief and homeschooling as a single mom. If I could define her with one word from my childish perspective, it would be “stable.” She was our anchor, and I never questioned if we would get swept away by the storm.

What I did not understand then was where the stability came from. I always knew that my mother had something special, but I definitely took it for granted. “That is just who she is,” I would tell myself, “Her positivity is just a product of her personality.” Little did I realize the consistent, intentional cultivation that was required to maintain such a disposition. Nor did I comprehend that positivity walks hand in hand with trusting God.

CULTIVATING TRUST

Thankfulness and trust are attitudes that don’t just appear from thin air. As a teacher, I work with many young people, and I can say with much certainty that the human mind is not naturally inclined to make good habits and choices. Instead, good habits have to be painstakingly developed by making good choices again and again. However, more than that, people typically need reminders to make the good choices that lead to good habits.

The Bible is filled with examples of people learning to be thankful and trust in all things. Going back to Israel’s early history, as depicted in the Pentateuch, we can see that the Israelite’s lives were filled with intentional reminders to remember what God had done, was doing, and would do.

THE SABBATH

“Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘Say to the Israelites, ‘You must observe my Sabbaths. This will be a sign between me and you for the generations to come, so you may know that I am the Lord, who makes you holy.'” – Exodus 31:12&13 (NASB)

The Sabbath was to be a day of rest, an expression of faith and gratitude to God.

“Sabbath means a ceasing or resting from work.” (Cotton, 2010, p. 75). By taking time away from making a living to focus on the Lord, our family, and the church, we declare our trust in God as the sovereign master of our lives (Cotton, 2010, p. 75). To never cease working is to see yourself as provider for your needs. The Lord wants us to work hard and be diligent with our time, but that should never come before our relationship with Him.

THE DAY OF ATONEMENT

“This is to be a lasting ordinance for you: On the tenth day of the seventh month you must deny yourselves and not do any work—whether native-born or a foreigner residing among you— because on this day atonement will be made for you, to cleanse you. Then, before the Lord, you will be clean from all your sins'” – Leviticus 16:29&30 (NASB)

The Day of Atonement was a time for the Israelites to realize their sin and their need for a Savior. It was a beautiful and gracious gift of forgiveness from the Lord (Cotton, 2010, p. 102). “Once a year the high priest entered the holy inner sanctuary of the Tabernacle to make atonement with the blood of the sin offering. Then the people’s sins were confessed over a live goat, and it was sent into the wilderness to symbolize the removal of sins. The people showed their deep sorrow over their sinful condition by fasting that day. This all pointed toward the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus Christ for the salvation of all who receive Him, realizing their serious sin problem” (Cotton, 2010, p. 102). The Day of Atonement was an intentional reminder of the human condition and the heavenly solution.

THE CAMP

“The Lord said to Moses and Aaron: ‘The Israelites are to camp around the tent of meeting some distance from it, each of them under their standard and holding the banners of their family.'” – Numbers 2:1 (NASB)

The physical Tabernacle would be kept in the center of the camp, representing the spiritual place God should hold in our lives (Cotton, 2010, p. 119). In addition, God placed the Levites around the Tabernacle as a buffer between the holiness of the Lord and the uncleanness of the people. Once again emphasizing the awe and reverence with which the presence of the Lord should be approached and the seriousness of our sin before God. Another reminder to remember.

A REMINDER TO REMEMBER

“Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children” – Deuteronomy 4:9

We must remember the past in order to build a better future. I want to mention the book of Deuteronomy as a whole because while there are many specific reminders covered within the book, they all build to a central reminder of Israel’s covenant with the Lord.

“We keep our relationships in perspective by remembering all we have been through together. We can also learn from our past mistakes, as God challenged Israel to do in Deuteronomy…remembering God’s past provisions gives us hope for going through difficult times” (Cotton, 2010, p. 140).

LEARNING TRUST

I have struggled with trusting God all my life. Does He see me? Does He care? In 2021, I stepped out in faith to attend a dance teacher’s workshop in Mississippi. That may not sound like a big deal, but for introverted, socially anxious, insecure about my dancing, and never flown before, it felt huge. But I was determined to trust God in this adventure He had set me on. Three days before my flight, the workshop was canceled due to a COVID outbreak on the campus, and all my built-up trust in the Lord was shattered.

It felt like a cruel joke. I had been prepared to follow God to Mississippi. To trust Him in a new and radical way I never had before. It was like all the ground had given way beneath me. I wondered if God had some other plan, but weeks and months passed. The whole thing felt like a pointless exercise.

Then, in June of 2022, God revealed the next step in His plan for me. “Go to Mississippi.” Not wanting to relive the experiences of the previous year, I had not even considered attending again. Now, the Lord was clearly asking me to try again. To trust again. “Is your trust based on circumstances and results or in who I am?” The question rang in my head, “Are you willing to believe that I can work all things for good?”

Trust is either hot or cold. It is a “yes” or “no” question. It is amazing where a simple “yes” to the Lord can take you. That summer, it took me to Mississippi, and I learned a lesson that completely changed my life. Today, I am still counting the blessings of both not going to 2021 and attending in 2022.

EXERCISING TRUST

At Ballet Magnificat’s 2022 teachers workshop, the Lord introduced me to Christine. I have only known her for a year, but the Lord has already used her to powerfully impact my life. Christine is the founding director of Transformacion Ballet, which offers dance classes to children of all socioeconomic backgrounds, including two local orphanages on Lake Atitlán in Sololá, Guatemala. Their mission is to create community, discipline, and share the love of Christ through dance. She is a sister in Christ whose friendship I am deeply thankful for. A friend who I never would have met if I had attended the workshop in 2021 instead of 2022. Summer of 2023, I traveled to Guatemala for three weeks to minister with and learn from Christine and Transformacion Ballet.

DECLARING TRUST

Looking back on all God has done in the past three years, His plan, purpose, and provision shine through with breathtaking intensity. I stand in awe of His sovereignty, the way in which He weaves all things together, took what I saw as pointless, and filled it with purpose. I can look at my life and see beauty, not of my own making but all because of what God has done in me. I can be thankful for heartache and challenges because I can see how He used them for good. I can be thankful for the gifts in the details. I can see with so much clarity all that I have to be thankful for – blessings from little things, blessings from big things, blessings from fun things, blessings from hard things, blessings from a beautiful life.

God, I’m still counting my blessings
All that You’ve done in my life
The more that I look in the details, the more of Your goodness I find

The day that I heard this song for the first time, it touched my heart because it sang of my father’s story, my mother’s story, and now my own story, too. August 11, 2023, four hours before the last Frontline Worship Event of the summer, God gave me a song, a dance, and a story to share. I am so thankful!

Thankfulness is a choice that declares trust not in what we can see but what is unseen and not in what we feel but in whom we have faith.

RESOURCES

Cotton, R. (2010). Pentateuch. Global University.