by Alan Langstaff

This week I turned 90 years of age and there is much to be thankful for. I want to pick out and discuss one of these things that I am thankful for – Friends.

FRIENDSHIP DEFINED

Friendship is defined as mutual affection between people. It is a form of interpersonal bond that is much stronger than an acquaintance, an associate, a companion, a co-worker, or a neighbor. It includes a bond between people.

A relative is not usually addressed as a friend. A spouse may be described that way and occasionally a person who is a relative like a sister may be described as a best friend. My daughter, Joy, described her sister, Beth, as her best friend.

Friendship makes life more enjoyable and enriches everyday experiences and tasks. Eleanor Roosevelt wrote:

“Many people will walk in and out of your life,
But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.”

FRIENDSHIP IN THE BIBLE

God never designed people to live alone. They were designed for community. It begins of course with a husband and wife that leads to a family and eventually to a group of people. But in the midst of all that are friends – often special friendships.

We see this, particularly in the relationship between David and Jonathan in the Old Testament. It is said “he loved him; for he loved him as he loved his own soul.” (1 Samuel 20:17 NKJV)

Likewise, when we come to the New Testament we see countless examples of friendship and in particular Jesus described his disciples as “friends”.

Jesus in John 15:15 declared to His disciples “No longer do I call you servants…but I have called you friends.” And in John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.”

Let me share my own experiences, but before I do let me share a little about how to make friends.

HOW DO YOU MAKE FRIENDS

How do you make friends? Well, it usually starts when you do things together (that’s where often the church comes into play). It starts out that way. You will never make friends sitting at home, waiting for someone to be your friend, not even praying for that to happen. Start doing things together and often friendship develops out of that. Sometimes it happens quickly, often it takes time to develop.

To have friends, be a friend.

MY OWN EXPERIENCES OF LATE

In a period of a little over 2 years, my wife Dorothy and my two daughters, Beth and Joy, all went to be with their Lord. I was left alone grieving the loss of three very special people in my life. I lived alone for over a year yet in the midst of it all I still had friends.

My driver’s license was removed by the Department of Motor Transport so I can’t drive anywhere and I am virtually housebound (particularly in a cold Minnesota winter). Recently I wrote down all the friends who had come to visit me (and even brought a meal). It amounted to between 30-40 people. It makes me conscious that there are people who don’t have any friends or visitors, and who live lonely lives. This is a ministry that people can take hold of.

Years ago, I once did a funeral for a lady and no one came to the funeral. She was all by herself not a relative, not a friend, and not a neighbor.

Now, some friends you keep in touch with by mail, email, phone calls, etc. For example, I have a friend in Texas and we contact each other regularly by phone.

ALAN’S ANGELS

In amongst those people, I have a special group of friends and to be honest I would find it difficult to function without their help. They include a lady (and quite often also her husband) who takes me to medical appointments and helps me in so many ways. She comes every week to see me. I have another friend who takes care of my household shopping each week and arranges for it to be delivered. Then a neighbor who has become a friend brings me a container of mashed potatoes every week.

Also, the family helps me too. One of my grandsons and his wife take me to church each Sunday and he comes over each Wednesday. And we could go on and on.

You have no doubt heard of “Charlie’s Angels.” Well, these are “Alan’s Angels.”

MINISTERIAL FRIENDS

Across the years I have been blessed to have had friends in Ministry as we have often worked together to extend the Kingdom of God, both here in America and also in Australia; as well as worldwide. This would also include the ones who have worked alongside me, in the ministry, church offices, and leadership teams.

TWO SPECIAL FRIENDS

In the midst of all this are two special friends who were and are precious.

1) My Wife – Dorothy
I believe your spouse should be your best friend and certainly, humanly speaking Dorothy has been my best friend as we have shared life and ministry together (almost 65 years as a married couple.)

2) My Savior – Jesus Christ
What would life be like without Him? From the night I responded to an alter call at an evangelistic meeting, Jesus has not only been my Savior but he has been my Friend. Often this is expressed through the love of the Father and the presence of the Holy Spirit, for all the three Members of the Trinity work together.

CLOSING THOUGHT

There is a timeless hymn written by Joseph M. Scriven back in the nineteenth century that speaks of the friendship of Jesus.

What a friend we have in Jesus,

All our sins and griefs to bear!

What a privilege to carry

Everything to God in prayer!

Oh, what peace we often forfeit,

Oh, what needless pain we bear,

All because we do not carry

Everything to God in prayer!

Have we trials and temptations?

Is there trouble anywhere?

We should never be discouraged— 
Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Can we find a friend so faithful,

Who will all our sorrows share?

Jesus knows our every weakness;

Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy-laden,

Cumbered with a load of care?

Precious Savior, still our refuge— 
Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?

Take it to the Lord in prayer!

In His arms He’ll take and shield thee,

Thou wilt find a solace there.

Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised

Thou wilt all our burdens bear;

May we ever, Lord, be bringing

All to Thee in earnest prayer.

Soon in glory bright, unclouded,

There will be no need for prayer—
Rapture, praise, and endless worship

Will be our sweet portion there.